We asked this question to Veronica Vinokurova, one of the founders of the international school Punkt B. What she recommends ️
Conflict is something that happens in any family. Different perspectives on important issues are a natural part of communication. Therefore, family conflicts are definitely not to be feared and avoided, but learning how to work with them will be useful to any professional. You need to follow these simple 6 rules:
1️ To never take sides is to stand on the side of truth. Do not draw conclusions about the personal qualities of the parties to the conflict. Both the parent and the child can be wrong. It is important to remember that parents always love their child and want the best. Just like any child, he always loves his parents. And everyone wants each other's happiness. They see him sometimes differently. We do not judge, judge or take sides.
2️ Explain to your family and child that you are focused on the diagnostics and labor market. And until the diagnosis is made, you do not know what professions are really most suitable for a child. Are they ready for the fact that your recommendations may differ from the views of both the child and the parent, which profession is better to choose? Or that the diagnostics will confirm the correctness of the opinion of one of the parties, and you will say that? If we're ready, we'll go to work.
3️ Do not dwell on the opinion of the parents or the desire of the child. A conflict of interest is resolved when a third solution is found. Which suits everyone. Try to find and offer something that the family has not yet considered as an option for the future career of the child.
4️ In argumentation, rely on facts and do not press on moral principles, emotions. “Do you love your child and want him to be happy?” is not an argument, but a rhetorical question. Just like “Listen to your parents, they are experienced” is not an argument. But “5 diagnoses on the program of 8 showed that...” is an argument.
5️ If your analysis shows that some option is not suitable, explain why. What does a child never get in this profession? Or, on the contrary, what does the profession require, which this child does not have? Based on these diagnostics and your understanding of the essence of the profession, explain why you do not recommend one or another option. Or you don’t recommend both of those options that are causing such a heated debate. Detail all the risks of choosing these options.
6️ Remember that the final decision is always up to the family. You only give a complete picture of the professions in which this particular person is most likely to realize their potential, achieve their goals and become happy. And in what professions there will be too many risks for him not to get what is important to him. And what the family will do with this information or the child himself is not up to us to decide.
In general, we read the classic of Leo Tolstoy “All happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” I.. well, qualitatively, calmly and with respect to others we do our work, colleagues