Until recently, your child was obedient, helping, doing well in school. And now it seems to have been replaced – it has become completely unmanageable. This means that your student has entered a period of crisis adolescence. Every family is faced with this to some extent.
What is the importance of the adolescent crisis, and how to deal with it with minimal losses for all involved?
To begin with, the signs of this difficult transitional age. A teenage crisis is already with you if your child:
• Became “unmanageable”;
• shows negativity;
• does not recognize previous authorities;
became indifferent to school and grades, became worse to study, throws sections and circles;
Makes a mess in his room and refuses to clean up;
• Argues with parents about or without it;
He is associated with “bad” companies, which gather the same negativeists and nihilists.
Of course, parents experience tension, fear for their growing schoolboy and his future, despair, and sometimes anger for what he is.
First of all, you need to understand what happens to a teenager during this period:
• The next stage of age development;
The transition to a new higher stage of intellectual development, in which the critical thinking of an adult is already present. This is what manifests itself in the expressed negativity;
Experimenting with social roles, school of social relations – his participation in companies and gatherings with friends;
The first step on the way to understanding the importance of self-education, the first timid attempts in search of your teacher and the cause of your life - manifests itself through indifference to marks and fading interest in the school curriculum.
In other words, during this period, the child clumsily and ineptly, trying and making mistakes, learns to be an adult. And without the support of his family, he cannot cope. Unfortunately, not all parents understand this and are ready for it.
Find out what moms, dads and other older relatives should not do now:
• Repress authoritarian control;
• Surround the child with restrictions and criticism;
• perceive the new behavior of a teenager as whims, whims, the influence of bad company, impudence;
• Consider that the stages of transitional age can be “passed”;
• leave the child alone with difficulties, taking a position of non-interference.
What should parents of a teenager do:
Understand that the difficulties of adolescence are a natural stage;
• Understand how important this period is.
Understand that, despite the possible negativity emanating from your child, he needs you now more than ever.
• create relationships based on respect, trust and support;
Just be there and let the child know.
Attempts by parents to avoid, suppress what is happening to a teenager during a crisis will lead to the fact that he will not fully pass this stage of growing up. So, new mental qualities will not be formed, and some part of the personality will not grow. In adulthood, a person will remember youth with horror, feeling the consequences of this for many years. Some even risk getting stuck somewhere halfway between negativism and adult rationality.
But if moms-dads and other older relatives did everything right, after the end of transition, the child will enter the world of adults confident. He will be able to establish healthy close relationships and take responsibility for his life.