Yesterday, your student proudly brought a diary to check, diligently pored over his homework, conscientiously performing everything, even oral. And now parent meetings have become a nightmare, accompanied by a sense of shame and awkwardness.
Yes, a student can drop out of school – this happens in many families. And, yes, it's often not about laziness at all. Why is there such a change in the child, what to do with it, what methods exactly will not help, and what are the serious signs of bad marks?
If you are faced with such a situation, here is a list of what you should not do to solve it:
Persuading. Describe the advantages of the “golden” certificate, the prospects of the best universities in the world. The rich, the rich, the rich, and the wise.
• Threaten. Take away your computer, your phone, your TV. No friends. Do not give pocket money;
• Bribery. Introduce a payment system for good and excellent grades. Spoiler – this may work, but not for long.
• Hire the best tutors;
• Scare yourself with the future, which necessarily awaits with a certificate with “threes”. Remember the story of janitors who become those who do not learn well;
• Try to revive the love of knowledge in other ways.
It is impossible to motivate a child to study diligently, convincing him that it is important for the future. The solution that works must be found in the present. But that's a little lower.
The fact that the child dropped out of school, many positive points:
• Your child is obviously smart. He is not manipulated, he is not afraid of threats.
• You're not alone. Many school-age children lack motivation for schooling. And that's okay.
• The current situation is not a disaster. Your child may not want to go to school, may refuse to learn formulas that he does not understand. This does not mean that he does not like and does not want to learn.
What to do with everything that's going on?
You have to start with yourself. Be honest: good grades are not a guarantee of future success. There are many examples of people getting kicked out of school and becoming millionaires. And the child knows about them, too.
Think about the example you are setting for a student. Do you like to study? Does he see you often with a book? Is your job a favorite and brings you a good income? If not, then your reasoning about the benefits of good marks and the associated success is completely unfair. And the child understood that.
Do not humiliate a teenager with threats and bribes. And be sure to talk to him. Find out what is the reason for his changed attitude to learning, what is happening at school. What a child dreams about, what he wants. Perhaps this is where you will find motivation to improve your performance. And be sure to separate the needs of the child from your own, and social requirements and attitudes from what is really needed. If you need your child to do well in order to brag to colleagues and neighbors, that’s the wrong way to go.
And the most important thing: what is the main thing to pay attention to if the child “rolled” from “fives” to “threes”.
Poor marks, perhaps a consequence:
• deep dissatisfaction with their lives;
psychological and social difficulties and inability to cope with these difficulties on their own;
Incorrectly organized learning process – not for the child, without taking into account his needs.
Frequently correcting these three points can fundamentally change the situation with reluctance to learn. And then neither threats nor bribes nor slogans will be required. Curiosity and the desire to know the world are as natural as breathing.